I think I'm going CRAZY!!!

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but I honestly can't stand being at home in the mornings. It seems that everyone is driving me crazy, and I get easily irritated at the stupidest things. Even the little things, like leaving their dirty plates on the table.

AAAAAH!!! What is WRONG with me! I don't want to be irritable, but it just comes out of me! It's like a plague that never goes away. I would like to blame it on the job. I really would. But I know that it's more than that. It's my very attitude itself. I LET myself get irritated.

I feel sorry for Graham and Karl and Vanessa(and sometimes when Mel is home, her too). I don't want to be that way. So I'm trying to work on it. And I'm sorry. But I really need to get out of here. I'm going stir crazy.

I think that's just it-everybody is going away in the fall...except for a few people I know. Like, they're going off to school or travelling or something. And I'm not. I have to stay here. Just Here. Working at the same job and doing the same homework for biology and chemistry. HELP ME!!!!! I love being home, but I love change too, and I'm not satisfied to stay in one place right now. I feel like I need to explore and travel and see different places, get it all out of me, you know?

Whatever...like that is going to happen. I'll just have to be content to stay here, and retreat to my room when I start to get irritable.

Please pray...my job is really getting to me good. It's bringin' me down man, it's bringin' me down!!! LOL....I just feel like laughing. for some strange, odd reason. I know...I told you I'm crazy.

Love, Ash