4.21.2010

Don't stop now...

So, Lord, you have begun this work in me. Seems like we've been doing this thing called "life" for a while now. Together. For the most part. And sometimes, I know I don't hold up my end of the deal all that great. But You ask me to keep going.

Even when it seems to be too hard. Even when I have no motivation. AND especially when I have no strength to do it on my own. Because it's in those moments that I must remember to lean on you.

I love how I can come to you whenever I need help, or whenever I need to thank you for something you have blessed me with, or an answer to prayer.

Tonight, I would like to praise you for saving me, and for continually renewing me. It was not a one-time process, nor can I rush through it to get "holy" quick. It is a "continual" transformation, and I must remember to be patient until the day you will return or call me home, because it is only then that I will understand what it is like to be holy.

Until then...

Don't stop.

Keep going.

Keep your eyes fixed on the goal, and don't let anything get in the way or cause you to get distracted.

Don't worry about the discouragement that comes along. Don't you think that He knows about it, and holds it in the palm of His hand?

What a reassuring thought!

Praise His Name!!

Love,
Ashleigh

Apologies...

Hi everyone,

To those of you who did not read my last blog, don't worry about this message. However, for those who did, you may have noticed I deleted it. I apologize for posting something negative on my blog. It's one thing to share what I'm struggling, but it's another to be downright surly in the face of other people's joys and accomplishments.

Please forgive me.

Ashleigh

4.19.2010

Dictionary Philology...

Tantalizing...Spate...Billowing...

What do these words mean to you?

They are very important to me, and perhaps for a few others as well.

Tantalizing.

I am aware of this word, and the full implications of its meaning. However, I used it in a different way in my first year of college in 2007. I was sitting in one of my first year courses, when I looked up and saw this disgustingly huge brown spider make its way up the back of the young man sitting in front of me. When I was trying to explain to my friends, with a shudder, I described the motion of the legs as being tantalizing, meaning that they were creepy. Jake teased me incessantly about this, and even to this day we use that word (we definitely use it in the right context now-a-days...). Even though I pretended that it bothered me when Jake teased me, I secretly enjoyed it because I had a small crush on him back then...

Spate.

One day in the library, Katie and I were reading a textbook in 2007 when Jake came up and sat down at the same table. (I was secretly excited because I had a thing for Jake back then...seems to be the growing trend). Somehow, the three of us came across the word spate (perhaps Katie or Jake remember where it came from), and we immediately loved it and used it for a plethora, er, spate of things.

Billowing.

Jake and I were watching a Bollywood movie last year before we started dating (I was flirtatiously excited because I had a huge thing for him back then...still do!), and one of the actresses was standing on the top of a mountain, with her hair flowing with the breeze. The only word we could come up with to describe it was "billowing". It was an apt description, and now whenever a wind teases my hair, we always say that it is billowing.

All of these words have pleasant connotations or memories of times with friends, and somehow, when I think about finding new words to love within the folds of the dictionary, these seem to present themselves like gifts to me in delightfully surprising ways all over again...

Love,
Ashleigh

4.17.2010

We're halfway there...

Van and I were talking about how, by the time it's her turn to get married, she's going to be an old pro at showers, planning, and weddings in general. Even I am grateful Mel's the first one, because now I have things to learn from.

We had the third of the six wedding showers for Mel. I would have to say it was a grand success. There were only about 15 people there, and the atmosphere was very chill and relaxed. I also enjoyed that it was mostly family, and was especially happy to visit with my cousin Jody whom I haven't seen in about 8 years. She hasn't changed much, but needless to say, I felt still a little shy when I was talking with her. I always looked up to her when I was younger, thought she was the coolest person ever. I still have a lot of admiration for her, and appreciate her vivacious personality.

Love,
Ash

4.14.2010

Reflective Walks...

I have been reading this book, The Me I Want to Be by John Ortberg (cheesiest title in the world, I know). In the chapter I read last night, he was talking about how people have different ways of connecting with God. He had quite a few things listed in what he calls "sacred pathways" (apparently taken from Gary Thomas. "Sacred Pathways" are ways that we find naturally help us experience the presence of God)
-->Naturalist: finds God in nature
-->Ascetic: is drawn to disciplines
-->Traditionalist: loves historical liturgies
-->Activist: comes alive spiritually in a great cause
-->Caregiver: meets God in serving
-->Sensate: sense God through five senses
-->Enthusiast: loves to grow through people
-->Contemplative: is drawn to solitary reflection and prayer
-->Intellectual: loves God by learning

Immediately upon reading the list, I knew that I am a naturalist. Upon a second perusal, I resonated most with being a sensate. I have discovered upon a recent desire to walk more (especially now that the weather is nice again), that I feel most alive and experience God's presence more when I am surrounded by trees and the open sky, with the smell of fresh air, barbecues, and the scent of dirt lingering in my nostrils. I would really like to start getting up early and walk so that I can be reflective upon my day and pray when I feel so connected to His nearness...


Which one resonated with you the most?

Love, Ashleigh

4.08.2010

The Chocolate Monster...

Is it safe to say that chocolate has once again taken a noticeable front seat in my eating regime once more? I believe that would be a fair statement, considering the fact that I am savouring a Hershey's chocolate bar right...this...moment. I liken chocolate to an old friend who I am happy to see and visit with. We have a lot of catching up to do.

Oh dear. I think that's the sign of super addiction.

Although the past few days have been dreary and dismal, there are a couple bushes on campus that have a yellow vibrancy which fills me with so much happiness. God is so good, and he balances out the dull precipitation with the vivid green of the grass, the yellow leaves on the trees, and the purple of the croci popping up in people's gardens...Spring is here!

Love,
Ashleigh

4.06.2010

By the taste of a sour jujube...

As I sit here eating some Easter candy from my grandparents, I am working up the courage to finish a paper on John Calvin. I am excited to write it, but was considerably tired when I returned home from college today. Now, after a two hour nap, I am still no where near done. But let's focus on the positive. I have begun to write it. I have completed some research. And I have been procrastinating. Oops...that one wasn't positive.

It occurs to me that most people, including myself, don't focus on the positive things that God gives us, the things that are wonderful and beautiful. We often skim over the things that cause joy, and zoom in right on the negative. "Oh you got 92% here, but, WHAT! you only got a 56% here?! What were you thinking!!!" and on and on it goes. Within ourselves. From others.

Why can't we get past it? Why do we constantly have to ruin someone's happiness, or our own happiness, by not rejoicing a sufficient amount in the blessings God gives us? There are times when we must make a statement, recognize that we didn't do so well somewhere, or that we could have tightened something up elsewhere. But then we need to get up and dance, and celebrate something good, and give God all the glory.

Love,
Ashleigh