The Outcry...

I made this comment on my Facebook wall one day:

"It's interesting how stress heightens the mundane, making the commonplace suddenly seem of great import."

How true it is. In this interesting time of my life, I find myself doing things I have never done before, one of which includes stress shopping. So please don't judge me if you find that I seem to be buying more than I should. Jake often tries to reason with me, as I am my own worst critic. It's true, the things I buy are all useful and good, but not necessarily right now. They are things I could be doing without.

I find myself crying at random and inopportune times, grateful that these have mostly happened while Jake has been with me; he has been so wonderful, wrapping me up in his arms, just letting me cry, telling me to let it all out and that it will be ok. And if it's not ok, then I can take that up with him later.

I have been lonely, especially while Jake is at work. Katie was able to sleep over Saturday night, and I drank in her company like a desert cactus drinks in water. You may say, "Well, why don't you just go out and find people to hang out with?" I could do this. But I am someone who needs to be found, who needs to know that people WANT to hang out with me.

I didn't even pray to ask God to help me through this loneliness(btw, I don't feel too lonely, because I know He's always there), but once again, He has answered the outcry of my heart. Within a day I have had 2 friends (you both have blogs, you know who you are :), my friend/employer, AND a lady from my church asking me when a good time to hang out would be. I mean, how much better can God get? He is amazing, and He truly does know our needs! I feel so blessed, and filled with hope.

May God continue to answer your unbreathed prayers, and may He bless you with a wonderful day!



Life away from blogging...


It swirls all around me, catching the pretty prisms of sunshine as it goes along.

It swoops downward, snatching up the whole of my essence in it's wake.....

I cannot keep up with it's unpredictability, nor its expectations.

mas, a vida rola.

When I am away from blogging, from keeping everyone updated on all my activities, thoughts, and events, I don't notice how much I have changed, how much I have experienced, and learned; grown and matured. Yet when I return to the comfort of that empty space in which to blog, I find that it hasn't changed. The white nothingness stares back at me once again, welcoming me, begging me to fill it with scribbles and scrawls, rants and monologues. Then I feel like a wise sage, bringing to the forefront of my mind hours and days of thoughts, bursting to share what God has taught, and what I am learning.

This is my blog, where God speaks, and I fill the page. May His name be praised, and every jot and tittle that one reads be for His glory alone.



Needing to refocus...

Let's just say that I have had four days of not spending intentional time with God, and today I needed it. 1 John is a good kick-in-the-pants book to get your spiritual motor running again. I was reminded of why I need to walk in righteousness, in the light; Jesus Christ IS the son of God, and whoever says otherwise is antichrist; Jesus died for my sins: this means I must confess my sins (admit that I failed, not try to cover up my mistakes) and He will forgive me and cleanse me (in other words, STOP WALLOWING in self-pity and self-condemnation!); I must love my brothers (yes, literal brothers, but also "mankind").

So, you can see, I was given a lot of reminders today, all of which were very good for my spiritual renewal. I am continually needing to trust that God has everything in control, even when I am diasappointed and feel discouraged. Seems to be the lesson of the year.



Raclette and Honest to Goodness Fellowship...

Jake and I went to Charlie and Cindy's house tonight. They are very good friends of ours, and Charlie is one of the professors at my college. The entree for the evening was French "Barbecue". There were bowls filled with frozen peas, hash browns, grated cheese, and raw meat. The bbq/grill was in the middle of the table, and you put the meat on top so it can grill, and fill little trays with the vegetables to put underneath the broiler, which is located directly under the grill. Then you wait. We had wonderful conversations about missions, and marriage, and generally everything you can think of. This included food, which was good because once the vegetables and meat were finished, you melted a little bit of cheese on top to create the most fantastic meal of your life. So simple, yet scrumptious. Dessert, however, was even better, if that is possible. Cindy had made up some muffin batter ahead of time, and we poured a small layer of that in our trays, put cut up fruit into another and then placed them underneath the broiler. Well, let me tell you, once someone suggested we add ice cream to that, I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. Wow. Seriously, that was one of the best meals of my life, or at least the most impressive.

I am so grateful for my college, and all of the amazing people that I have met, especially those who have been most influential in my life. Praise God for the Christian community. I feel so blessed to live in this wonderful sphere of existence.



so....i have a job...i think...

Today was a strange day. I had some weird dreams that kinda set my morning off to a disgruntling start. Then I didn't really want to work, but, sucking it up, I worked for two hours. I met with someone in the recruitment department, and I think I have a job with them! I am seriously hoping that they will consider me to be staff, especially if they can give me more hours. I am only taking two courses, so I'm really not a student worker anymore. I just want to be accepted as a staff member, and be able to attend staff things. It's hard to find my place, now that I am not really involved in student life anymore.

I am really grateful to God for this opportunity. He totally knows what we need, especially when to give me encouraging news.

Thank you to all who have been praying. It has been a strange time of life, and I feel very stretched. God is doing some wonderful things to me right now, and I would not change it for a moment.



Good Eats...

Well, what a full week-end! I don't entirely feel like writing tonight; I have a book that is waiting to be read. I am also very tired. However, I had a wonderful day, that culminated the end of a great week-end.

I traveled with Susan and Mr. Marv to Lindsay, so that they could have a meeting there. There was a lovely conversation that ensued on the way home, and I feel very blessed for the people that God has put into my life.

Tonight, however, was a very fun night of dessert at a fine dining restaurant with two wonderful ladies. I was saying to Laurie and Christina that we have never hung out together before, but it has always been one or the other. It was a lovely evening, delicious chocolate truffle cake, and specialty coffees (which I, thankfully, did not try!). Such a blessing to spend time with friends, and relax in a safe environment. I am grateful for relationships that have developed over the years of being in college.

Tomorrow is registration day. I am only taking 1.5 classes this semester: Islam, and my internship course. It's going to be strange barely going to the college for classes, but I'm getting ready to move on. I am looking forward to graduating this coming year, finally.

Time for bed...



Running Between the Rain Drops...

I cannot take credit for today's post title. I was heading downstairs to lunch, when Carolyn called out, "You'll have to run between the raindrops!" Needless to say, I haven't left the building, but it was an interesting enough concept to blog about.

I briefly pondered how one might attempt to perform this nearly impossible feat. I was picturing myself dodging this way and that, at lightning speed, making it to my destination without a single drop touching my head.

Unless I am Superman, there is no way I could make this happen.

Isn't this kind of a picture of how we try to make it through life? We sometimes try to run between the raindrops of what appear to be mere nuisances, annoyances, or struggles. We don't want to feel the water touching our skin, as if it will burn through us like acid.

How often do we take time to think of those things as blessings from God? What if the raindrops are from him, causing us to stretch, to grow, to learn, and to reshape us to have more Christlike character? When we allow ourselves to get wet from our struggles, we cry. We have pain. We cry out in anguish and frustration, asking God why we're soaking, chilled to the bone.

And yet, we learn.

We mature.

And our dependency upon our Great God and Saviour blossoms, and He shall renew our strength.

Isaiah 40



David Guetta...

I can't believe I'm writing a blog about a music artist. However, this guy is so talented, and has been working with major artists in the industry lately, creating INCREDIBLE dance hits. Wow, I'm totally impressed with the songs. Of course I don't agree with all the lyrics. My alibi is that I am merely judging from a dancer's perspective. As a Christian, I do not necessarily endorse every bit of music that he creates or produces. Many of his songs are simply amazing beats to dance to, like this one, which happens to be the first one I heard.

Thanks to whoever has been praying for me lately, my allergies have been MUCH better today. My eyes have been watering far less, and aside for a short break from the computer, I am doing well.

It's time for bed, though.....although I do feel like dancing for a little bit longer...


The Eyes of Night...

I should be in bed, but there's so much on my mind, so many things to do. I have been thinking about all I have to do, but forget about it as soon as I remember. I finally decided to write them down as they fly into my head, and came out with a list as long as my arm. However, I've slowly been plugging away at things tonight. Jake and I got our passport photos taken, and he looks as handsome as ever. I was debating about whether to go to Wal-Mart or not, but in the end picked Blacks; I'm glad we did, because we received a free passport case with our photos! God is good in providing the little things.

I am also excited tonight because we got our beautiful wedding invites from the printer AKA Jake's brother Josh. My lovely friend Katie designed the border beautifully, and Josh put it all together, as well as drawing up the maps. He knows some people since he is in graphic design, and ended up giving us the invitations for free! What another blessing, and I am totally indebted to all the people who have been by our side throughout this whole engagement. I have been busy getting ones ready for people at the school, and thinking with sadness about all the people that we can't invite to the reception. There is only so much one can do, and sometimes you can't have everyone you want there.

My allergies have been bothering me so much in the past few days, and my eyes have been watering and blood shot. Tonight is the first time in a while that I actually feel ok, but my eyes are still burning. I am so excited for the week-end. I am envisioning Jake and I spending the day addressing and stuffing invitations, and just resting and relaxing from this long week. He started a new job working overnights, and today his body refused to let him sleep. He was so exhausted, so please keep him in your prayers.

I still have not found a full time job, but I have been working full time in the office for Susan. I am so grateful for this job, and although I am tired, I will keep persevering. Please pray that I will find a job soon, as I am getting somewhat discouraged. However, I know that the Lord guides my path, and He will provide for me as He has done in the past. Blessed be His Name!