Ghost dreams...

I dreamt that I was a ghost, and no one could see me. However, I wasn't a silent ghost. Although no one could see me, they could hear me traipsing around. People could still feel me if they knew where I was and reached out towards me. So I guess I wasn't really a ghost-perhaps just invisible. But in my dream I thought I was a ghost. It was so strange.

Ah, the arcana of ghosts. I don't want to get into that right now, because it is such a controversial topic.


Still weirds me out that I dreamt all that.



Tea drinker...

It has become my morning ritual to sip, or should I say, gulp down a good cup of green tea with honey. Jake is always chagrined to admit that, of all the things we eat and drink together, I am the faster one when it comes to tea. The reason is this: I hate burning my mouth off when it is so hot, so I wait and wait and wait, until it finally becomes warm enough to drink, and I simply cannot get enough of the deliciousness, ergo the gulping.

I have many thoughts swirling in my head, so I will share with you.

This morning in my devos, God enabled me to relate it so something I've learned in class, which I thought was rather fascinating. Mark 6 talks about how Jesus sends the disciples out to do the work he taught them. This is a perfect example of the master-apprentice model we learned in Cultural Anthropology, and it is a method of informal learning. Although I have never used it, I believe I would enjoy this way of learning, and I think it was very effective for the disciples. Jesus taught them how to do something, and then, very practically, sent them out to do exactly that. He gave them the power to do those things (Mark 6:7). Jesus says in Luke 6:40:

"A disciple is not above his teacher,
but everyone who is perfectly trained
will be like his teacher."

Luke tells of this same story in chapter 9, but he elaborates a little more by saying that Jesus sent them out to preach the Gospel and heal the sick. Today we struggle with the concept of holistic missions, and often compartmentalize the physical needs from the spiritual i.e. sharing the Gospel (although there are mission agencies who do well at both).

N.B. Jesus recognized the importance of both the physical AND the spiritual health of people, and he taught his disciples to focus on both as well.

When they came back from travelling and ministering, they reported to Jesus what they had done and preached, most likely so he could encourage them in ways they could improve, since he was the master after all.

What would happen if more people treated Jesus as the master, and themselves as the apprentice? How much different would their focus be, and how much more effective would their ministry be?

The phrase WWJD, or "What Would Jesus Do?" has become trite and used in somewhat of a sarcastic or sneering manner by non-Christians and Christians alike. I am not suggesting we bring back the bracelets or other paraphernalia, but we should keep it as our mind-set. If we want to be the apprentices, and Jesus as our Master, then we must constantly be searching the Gospels for His model and learn, as well as do, by example. I want to read more of God's Word to let the words sink in and drown out my fleshly and human desires, so that I can be more of an effective servant for the things He desires.

I really appreciated something Jake said yesterday. We were talking about the way I have been justifying my consumption of sweets since starting Lent, and how I need to be more disciplined and focused. He told me that, although he, too, finds it hard to stay away from those things, he focuses on how he wants more of God, rather than focusing on the negative. Essentially he said:

"God is worth me giving up the desire to eat sweets (which aren't inherently bad), because when I die to what I desire,when I beat my body into submission and quiet my inner hunger needs, I hear God's voice more clearly. I know He is always speaking to me, but I can actually hear Him when I fast."

What lengths am I willing to go to, in order to hear God's voice speaking to me? How radical must I be so that I can understand the heart of God? Am I willing to let Him teach me how to do effective ministry, following after his master-apprentice model for my life?

That is my challenge, for myself, and if it speaks to you too, then let me know so we can keep praying for one another!




Ah. patience eludes me at the moment. It has been all day. Pray for patience, and you get chances to try it out.

How ironic.

I miss my Jake, didn't get enough time with Nana and Poppa, won't get to see Oma and Grandpa this week, and just ate a bunch of delicious heart jujube candies even though I'm on Lent. Although, did I hear somewhere that we're allowed to break the fast on Sundays? I hope so. Because I feel terrible right now.

God forgive my attitude. You have given me so many blessings today, and for those, I am grateful :)



Avocado love...

With the taste of my sumptuous dinner still flowing through my salivary glands, I am almost paralyzed by the wonders that are avocados. While their flesh is a puke green colour and their taste consists of a bland nothingness that almost immediately induces the gag reflex, these oval-shaped pitted fruit are the epitome of diversity. You can scoop them out and spread them on a sandwich as a healthier option to mayo, or chop them up and add them to a tomato sauce. Their creamy texture is an acquired taste, but don't give up! I definitely didn't like avocados when I first tried them, but after working in a coffee bistro where they were used in wraps and crepes alike, I was hooked. Plus, they are also very good for your heart :) That should be a good enough reason to try one. The best way to get introduced to avocado would be to add it to something else, like a sandwich, that way you taste it subtly without being exposed to the strange texture on its own. I had almost forgotten how good they taste when they're warm, when they get soft from the heat. It is quite the experience!

I am going home tomorrow, just for the day, to visit the family and catch up. I am excited :)

But there definitely won't be avocados there!




Pondering dendrology...

Trees are so glorious. I am in awe that God designed such a marvelous creation, amidst all the other wondrous living things on earth.

The thing that baffles my mind is this:

Why do trees become most vulnerable in the winter, when it is the most cold? All through spring, summer, and most of the autumn season they have leaves, which, by the way, account for most of their astounding beauty.

However, once winter rolls around, they bare their branches and are exposed to the harsh elements. Animals grow thicker fur, our skin gets tougher, and even water freezes into a thick level of ice during the winter, and yet trees remain bereft and in wanting.
Tonight I went to a volunteer appreciation dinner. It was delicious, and yet my resolve for Lent flew out the door with the promise of chocolate mousse cake on the menu. Seriously. They would. No worries, folks, I did give in, but I will go an extra day for Lent.


Remember when giving in was such a bad idea?? Talk about testing my self control.

the mousse cake was scrumptious.... AND I won a door prize for Tim Hortons.

Perfect way to end the day :)



My Day...

Being Ash Wednesday, of course, I was able to celebrate the day I was born bla bla bla.

Just kidding, but I couldn't help but think that there should have been a celebration for such a wonderful name and date, because it's also exactly 8 months until my birthday.

Who actually knows what Ash Wednesday is for? I don't really, they only thing I know is that it is the beginning of lent, and the beginning of the time people give up something for Christ. This could mean they either want to give up something that distracts them from spending time with Him, or either to focus on His suffering, only to break Lent to rejoice in his resurrection at Easter. Around here, it is quite common to see people giving up sweets, or Facebook, or desserts to get out of bad habits. However a friend of mine told me that all these are things that most people should be cutting out anyways. She is going to try not to speak negatively about people, and to stop and think about their situation before she says something too critically.

Whatever the meaning of Lent, and no matter the controversy among believers on its real intent, let's think about this: instead of simply giving something up, what about a focus on adding something positive and Biblical into our lives, like actually allotting time to pray in the morning, or trying to phone someone each day and speak words of encouragement to them? We can all do these things, it's just a matter of purposing to do them for 40 days. It means writing reminders in our calendars or cell phones. It means having an accountability partner who will ask you if you are doing these things. I know someone who texts her friend every day at 6pm to ask her if she read her Bible that day. That is intentionality. We need more of this, Lent or not.

Ash Wednesday-more than just a date on our Calendar. Let's reflect and get close with God.

Happy lenting, and see you on the other side :)

Vai com Deus (Go with God)


p.s. did you know that "Lent" actually means "spring" (the lengthening of days after winter is over)? food for thought...


L'amour Toujours...

Oh, how I love Valentine's Day! This year I decided to start making my heart cookies dipped in choco at four in the morning. Bad call. It took me two hours to make them so I didn't get to bed until six! Plus, I made them with cake and pastry flour so they have a weird texture. But they taste so delicious, and I am going to bring them to our choir performance tonight.

Oh, how I love Valentine's Day! I have always loved it, even when I was single. I loved the idea of love, and the chocolates and delicious heart jujubes that are only sold this time of year.

I have always had "Valentines", my friends and family who are close to me. But this year I actually have a Valentine, a man who makes my heart melt when he speaks to me and who shows his love and care with everything he does. A man who I have been dating for almost 9 months now. A man who I have been friends with for such a long time. Praise the Lord for friends who turn into lovers*! Jake has been such a blessing to me, and I am so happy to call him my Valentine! I love you, Jake!

As for my other Valentines, you know who you are, I am so blessed with family and friends who love and care about me. I love you all!



1.a person who is in love with another (we use the term to mean this definition, rather than the distasteful ones others may use)


Ever thankful...

There is so much happening in my life right now, almost too much. However, I am thankful that God has reassured me of his presence and care, even when it isn't tangible at the moment. I am trying to stay optimistic when everything inside of me longs to react negatively to my present circumstances.
Although there are no answers, there is my God. And He is ever faithful.


Humous and Afghan bread...

Oh, I am addicted to humous. I'm glad it isn't bad for you, because I would be in serious trouble. My roommate made some the other day, and it is incredible! She told me I could have as much as I wanted, but I said, "Don't say that to me, because I seriously will eat it all!"

I had the best sleep last night. I haven't been able to sleep in all week, as I get up early to get ready for class or work. I slept in until 10:45am, and I feel so good and rested! My plan was to get up and do homework, but I've been just taking it slow this morning. I still have lots to do today, including grocery shopping and spending lots of time with God.

Please pray for me, I have had lots on my mind lately about practically every facet in life. I feel sorry for Jake, because my mood has been on a constant swing multiple times a day. I just praise God for the stability he has given me with relationships with Jake, my family and my friends. And definitely with my relationship with Jesus Christ. I praise Him for that!



The acquistion of wisdom...

In Proverbs today I was reading in Chapter 4, and the writer was talking to his son about wisdom. He encouraged him to "get" wisdom. However, he didn't stop there. Upon this "getting" of wisdom, he went a step further to tell his son to actually understand wisdom. It is not merely the acquistion of wisdom that is important. No. It is the knowledge of how it works, how it affects us, how we can use it to grow closer to God. How do we start to understand wisdom? We must surround ourselves with those who have it, as well as fill our minds with words of wisdom. He also goes on to encourage us to keep God's words in the forefronts of our minds and to write them on our hearts.

So much more than simply the acquisition.


new words...

I learned something today in my reading for cultural anthro class. I'm sure we have all heard of dialects, which is a form of language that varies from the official language of a country. However, when a person has developed his/her own peculiar use of a language, English, for instance, that is called an idiolect. I didn't know that there was actually a term for that. I have lots of friends who have their own vocabulary that is very standard for them, and now I know what it is called.

Ah, life has a way of getting me down sometimes. I hate being on this roller coaster, some good days, some bad ones, but that is the way it goes. I know God will provide for me, but it's so hard to see sometimes.


Office Work...

I officially feel important. I am working on a fundraiser for the school, with our director of development, and I have my own title and send out official emails and everything. It's a lot of fun, but sometimes can be mentally draining. Either I am faxing for 3 hours at a time, or looking up info on the internet for 3 hours, or calling people for 3 hours.

I forgot to bring some shoes to wear while in the office, and took my winter boots off because they can be really uncomfortable and clunky. While I was walking around in my sock feet, one of the ladies in the office commented and kept saying "ew" and how disgusting it was that my socks were getting germs all over them. Frankly, I don't care, but I will still wear some shoes on Wednesday so she doesn't confront me about it again. But honestly, you get more germs while walking in the sand at the beach, and you could potentially cut your foot in glass. I think I am pretty safe in socks in my school office.

Interoffice relationships are interesting. You see how people respond to stress and how they react to others because of that. I understand how being stuck in front of a computer all day can be stressful, but I don't think it's fair to snap at others and to get impatient. But, that's what grace is all about, right?

That's why God gave us relationships, especially close ones. They show us our imperfections and where we need to change for the better.