Handing in My Two Week's Notice!

Yes, it is official-I'm finally quitting my job! After all these past few weeks feeling like the summer would never end, I finally made the decision to quit my job and get on with my life. I'm so excited! My last day will be on August 11th, and allthough it is only two weeks, I think it's going to be the longest two weeks of my life!

Although I am quitting, I still don't have another job. Some of you might think I am crazy for quitting without another job, and to tell you the truth, it IS crazy. I vowed that I would never do that again. However, if I stay there, I will keep feeling trapped, and I don't want to feel like that anymore! So now it is the job hunt that I go on!

I should go now-I didn't have breakfast and I'm so hungry, and then I have to work. Yay...lol.

Hope that everyone has a great day!

Love, Ash



I was listening to Nicole Nordeman's CD Brave just now, and I heard this song and decided to post the lyrics here. They're really great, and I hope you like them as much as I did!

Live sung by Nicole Nordeman
Did you come that we might just survive?
Did you come so we could just get by?
Did you walk among us
So we might merely limp along beside?

I was bound, I have been set free
But I have settled for apathy
Did you come to make me new
And know I'd crawl right back into the skin you found me in?

It's where I am, not where I've been

You make me want to live
You make me want to live
You came to shake us
And to wake us up to something more
Than we'd always settled for
And you make me want to live

We've all been up on the mountain top
A golden glow that's bound to soon wear off
Then it's back to the mundane telling tales of glory days
When we were hopeful that this change was here to stay

So why would a young man
Live in a waste land
When the castle of his dreams is standing by?W
hy would a princess
Put on an old dress
To dance with her beloved and a chance to catch his eye?

I'm Sorry.

Dear friends and family:

I just want to apologize for my past few blogs. I am aware of my frustration with my job, but this blog was meant to encourage all of you and not bring you down! I want this place to be a place of positivity, somewhere you can come to read and feel refreshed. I should not have been so negative in my previous blogs. I have decided to stay positive, to find things that made my day happy instead of tiresome.

I had a very good chat with Mom last night. She said to me, "Ash, why are you getting all uptight about this job? If you don't like it, just hand in your two weeks notice and find another one!" ...You know, I really love how Mom's are sometimes. Well, my mom anyways. They just get right down to the point. It's true, I mean, I only got this job for the summer anyways, so I'll just leave it at that-just a summer job. Why get all freaked out and stressed? I'm still young-I don't need to feel like I absolutely NEED to stay in one job. Obviously it is not my type of job anyways, and now I am aware of that. I'm still discovering what my fortes are in life, and THAT is definitely NOT one of them!!! Lol...

Oh, it feels so good to just relax. I've been so tightly wound this week that I think I was slowly cutting off my circulation. My poor family, what they've had to put up with! I'm sorry you guys...I do love ya and I don't want to be the grouchy sister!

Thanks to all of you who were praying for me. I really appreciated it a lot!!!

Yesterday we took Mel and the kids to Nana and Poppa's to stay for the week. It was good to see them again, and I'm sure they will all have a wonderful week!

I have to work on biology again today, because I want to get this unit finished by Wednesday so I can send my questions to get marked. We'll see how it goes...

I should go, but I thank you all for reading my blogs and some of you for taking the time to comment. I would just ask that you leave your name, so that I know who writes the comments. If you don't want to write your name, you can leave a nickname that you know I would know.

Have a great day!

Love, Ash



Yesterday, at work, I just didn't care. I don't know why, but I didn't feel like doing anything, so I just sort of sat there waiting for calls and reading my books and crocheting. Whatever, I said. LOL...

I also handed in my resume to a restaurant, hoping that I can learn how to become a waitress. I am going crazy with my job, and I'm not doing the best that I can. I'm just going through the day like at half-mast. I told Dad last night, "I just want to work with real live people!!! That way we can all be happy and nice and no one will yell at me just because I'm a voice on the other end." (However yesterday, if I had had a customer who yelled and screamed, I really wouldn't have cared.)

I know that there are hardships in every job, and if I do get a job waitressing I will probably have some more hardships stories to share. But I just want to get out of this place now!

ok...one day I will be content...I promise

Hope everyone has a good day!

Love, Ash


Jesus Love...

Written July 6/07....

Need to love someone-
I put all my love on you.
Jesus, I am yours.

Show me how to love.
The kind of love that God shows-
My heart is ready.

Want to feel His warmth.
Sometimes earthly love is cold.
Jesus, hold me tight!


I think I'm going CRAZY!!!

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but I honestly can't stand being at home in the mornings. It seems that everyone is driving me crazy, and I get easily irritated at the stupidest things. Even the little things, like leaving their dirty plates on the table.

AAAAAH!!! What is WRONG with me! I don't want to be irritable, but it just comes out of me! It's like a plague that never goes away. I would like to blame it on the job. I really would. But I know that it's more than that. It's my very attitude itself. I LET myself get irritated.

I feel sorry for Graham and Karl and Vanessa(and sometimes when Mel is home, her too). I don't want to be that way. So I'm trying to work on it. And I'm sorry. But I really need to get out of here. I'm going stir crazy.

I think that's just it-everybody is going away in the fall...except for a few people I know. Like, they're going off to school or travelling or something. And I'm not. I have to stay here. Just Here. Working at the same job and doing the same homework for biology and chemistry. HELP ME!!!!! I love being home, but I love change too, and I'm not satisfied to stay in one place right now. I feel like I need to explore and travel and see different places, get it all out of me, you know?

Whatever...like that is going to happen. I'll just have to be content to stay here, and retreat to my room when I start to get irritable.

Please pray...my job is really getting to me good. It's bringin' me down man, it's bringin' me down!!! LOL....I just feel like laughing. for some strange, odd reason. I know...I told you I'm crazy.

Love, Ash



Yes, I know, I haven't written in a while. Thanks for bearing with me and praying for me even though I haven't shed light on my life for a few days.

Well..still looking for another job. NO, have not quit my old one(and that's just it...it's getting old...REAL old...and FAST!) It's difficult though, because all the university students are still here, so all the jobs are taken.

Work actually went pretty well today. I was surprised, because yesterday was surely a bad day. However..God makes us stronger through days like that Thankfully!!!

Not too much of interest going on, unfortunately, so I shall bid you all "Adieu"!
sleep tight...
Love, Ash



I totally forgot one of the most important aspects of my drive home last night...Most of the time our wipers on the van are temperamental, and they only work when they want to. So, I was kind of nervous, hoping they wouldn't quit on me. As soon as I turned the van on, they worked, and stayed working for the WHOLE way home!! That was definitely a God thing, because I was SO worried about it, and mom told me that they weren't working earlier in the day! It was so cool!!

Well, my night went well...fast actually, which was surprising. I wanted to call in SOOO bad today, and I was NOT in the mood for listening to crabby customers. Thankfully I didn't have hardly ANY crabby customers today!! It was awesome!

Well...I'm going to go eat something before bed... have to work tomorrow too!

Have a good sleep..
Love Ash

Wonderful Crazy Thunderstorms!!

I was at work last night, inside our dreaded dungeon listening to the rain beat on the roof with a ferocity that somewhat scared me. However, although I could not see for myself the wonderful storm, I had to be content with just listening to the pounding rain, and the boom of the thunder. When I finished work, the torrent still hadn't diminished yet, and I had to drive home being careful of the waters that had flooded some of the roads. It was an adventure, and all of a sudden I felt like I was back in Brasil again, and this time I was the driver.

I can remember the torrential rains that I experienced there, and although last night did bring heavy rain, nothing could compare!

But enough about the rain, I'm kind of cold today, and honestly, I would rather the heat right now! I do enjoy this breeze, but could do away with cold fingers as I type away.

I worked on biology for about an hour just now, and I am up to my neck in cells and organelles and mitochondria and, yes Mom, GOLGI BODIES!!! lol My goal is to finish this unit in 2 wks, so I have a little bit to go yet.

I hope that everyone has a great day...I'm going to go find somewhere that I can be warm!

Love, Ash


My moonlit drive

Last night I was driving the van home from work, and I saw a couple from my work walking home, but couldn't stop safely enough to ask them if they wanted a ride home. So I turned into a nearby parking lot so I could wait for them, and I was just about to turn myself around when I noticed the moon.

Oh, words can't describe the beauty. I looked up and there was a HUGE sliver of the moon hanging from the black sky. But it wasn't yellow or white like normal. No, it was like the colour of a dusty rose, like a nice shade of pink like that. Oh! It was gorgeous! I just had to sit there and stare at it for a while, thanking God for the beauty that he has created for his own glory, and so that we can enjoy it!

Needless to say, I didn't take those people home(they went a different way anyways), and I just drove home happy to be alive!

Love, Ash



Mom and I had a good laugh on our way to the gym today. We were driving along, and we saw this squirrel on the side of the road. It was just scampering about, then all of a sudden it dove right into a little bush! Like, it literally jumped right in, and all you could see was it's little tail waving around as it it's body was inside the bush. Oh man, mom and I couldn't stop laughing. It was too much!!

We saw another squirrel about a week again(once again on our way to the gym) and it stopped by a piece of scrunched up kleenex on the sidewalk. It took it in it's mouth and examined it for a bit, then just tossed it to the side and scampered away.

I think they are so funny sometimes!

Well, it's off to work I go now...I got my first unit for Gr. 11 biology in the mail, so I'm going to start working on that. Anyways...have a good night!

Love, Ash


Oh the age matter....

Why, oh why, did I get asked what grade I was going into TWICE!!!! What is up with that anyways??? Do I honestly look that young? It's pretty sad actually. I know I know, everyone is going to write a comment saying, "Well, consider it a blessing, because when you get older they won't say you're so young anymore..."

I am well aware of that fact.

I am ALSO aware of the fact that I am going to be 21 years old this year and people are still asking me what grade I'm going into!!!!

Ok, so I"m a little miffed..and rightly so I should think. What must I do to make myself look my age??

Mom planted a little seed into my head last night, and it has been germinating and has almost blossomed this whole day. What about if I cut my hair really short like I had it a few years ago? Like, a really nice short, kinda pixie look? What would you think? Would I look my age then?

OH, I don't know really. It's too late to be thinking out all sorts of plans and ideas. My eyes are barely open right now, but my fingers just keep typing ..... and typing.... and typing away. I sometimes wonder if my fingers and my hands have brains of their own!

Whatever it is, I AM TIRED! lol...Ruth-Ann and I walked for almost 2 hours straight tonight, and seriously, I need my bed RIGHT NOW!!! so...it was a good walk, and talk...but yes, and RA will agree with me when I say Exhaustion has settled into these..."old" bones...lol

oh man...will somebody PLEASE verify that I am 20 years old and NOT going into a grade of any kind, just to make me feel better!!!

Love, Ash

Rainy Days and Mondays...

Thankfully it's NOT a rainy day today-but it IS Monday! And I don't have to work today.

I can't believe the crazy weather and storms we had last week. I absolutely love a good thunderstorm, and we had many. They remind me of how powerful God is, how much He is in control. Nature is one of the things that brings me closer to God, remembering how every little intricacy was thought out by Him. I can feel his presence with every touch of a raindrop on my skin, and I can see only a fraction of his artistic handicraft when I look at a sunset. He is so wonderful!!

We rented a movie on the week-end called "The Last Sin Eater". It is based on a book by the Christian author Francine Rivers, one that I have read three times I enjoyed it so much. I was so pleased that there was a movie made about it, and yet I wasn't prepared for the strong message it presented. What an amazing movie! I still enjoyed the book better, but for making a movie so wonderful and conveying such a powerful theme, it was great! It definitely reminded me of how God was so wonderful that He would send his Son to earth to "eat our sins" and give us freedom from them. If you have not seen it, you should, as it is definitely worthwhile!

Yesterday we went on a family bike ride for about an hour. It's quite humourous, all seven of us lined up on our bikes on the bike trail. haha, we're pretty much like a race team or something! It was fun, and the weather was beautiful.

Well, I must go, as I don't want to spend my whole morning or day for that matter in front of this time-sucker! lol...take care, all, and I just want to say thank you to everyone who is praying for me. I can feel the encouragement and love from everyone, and I appreciate it so much!

Have a good day!

Love, Ash


Set the World on Fire...

I have some very sad yet exciting news. I will not be returning to Heritage in the fall. This is the sad news. I know this may come as a shock to many of you, and as major disappointment to many. As I was looking forward to being the secretary on STUCA this coming year as well as getting to know all of the friends I made even better, I feel like I am the worst person in the world.

However, I feel that this is the best thing for me to do, as I have decided to go into nursing. I would really like to do medical missions, and help people in different places around the world. If that is not what God wants for me, then I would be happy just working in Toronto or anywhere really where there are people of different cultures. I am aware that God has given me the gift of connecting with those who speak different languages and who are from different places around the world.

I know this is totally different than what I have been talking about with all of you, as I was orginally going to be in the intercultural studies degree at Heritage. However, I know that I can work interculturally as a nurse, and I feel this is where God is leading me. I am so excited to see what God has in store for me!

This coming year I need to do some courses that I need in order to apply for nursing that I never took in highschool, so I have to do Gr. 11 and 12 Biology and Chemistry. I have to do all four of them this year, distance ed and possibly at night school. If you could remember to pray for me, as I know this year is going to be tough. I never did well in science in school. Honestly, I can't believe that I'm going to have a Bachelor of Science in Nursing when I come through all of this. For those of you who know me, I'm more of the "artsy -fartsy" type who enjoys music, reading, learning languages, and poetry. I am aware that I am going to have to work EXTREMELY hard in these next five years, but I am ready! I have never wanted to do something so much, and I have never felt so at peace about serving God in such a way as I do now.

For those of you at Heritage, I am sorry. I am sorry for letting you down and for leaving you all. I promise you, my year there was the most amazing year ever, and all of you, my friends, I will have with me for the rest of my life! I will come and visit you when I can, and remember to keep in touch by e-mail, facebook, or MSN...even "snail mail" if need be. I will miss you all so much, and even writing this brings tears to my eyes. I was so looking forward to being with you all this year, and being encouraged by your love and ...well..encouragement!! I love you all so much and I will hopefully come and visit you all in September when school starts again.

This is only the first big decision of many in my life, and I am ready for the adventure to begin, because our life with Christ IS an adventure. I am so excited to be serving God in this way, and I can't wait to get out there and help others. I just have to remember that we serve God everyday, so instead of constantly looking to the future, I need to keep in mind the here and now. That is what matters the most!!

Melissa just bought a CD by the new Christian artist Britt Nicole. I've been listening to this CD alot over the past 2 days, and one song in particular really stuck out to me. This is my prayer, and I only hope I can live up to it as I continue on in this life with my Lord and Saviour!!

Set the World on Fire
I wanna set the world on fire
Until it’s burning bright for You
It’s everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

I, I am small butYou,
You are big enough
I, I am weak but You,
You are strong enough to

Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
There’s nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do

I wanna feed the hungry children
And reach across the farthest land
And tell the broken there is healing
And mercy in the Father’s hands

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love Lord, use me

I wanna set the world on fire
I wanna set the world on fire, yeah
I’m gonna set the world on fire
Set the world on fire

Programming and Bass by Tedd T. Keys by Josiah Sherman Guitars by Eric Lemiere Written by Britt Nicole, Jason Ingram, and Cindy Morgan © 2007 Britt Nicole Publishing Designee (ASCAP) / Peertunes, Ltd. / GrangeHill Music / J Ingram Music (SESAC) / New Spring Publishing / Soliva Music (ASCAP)

Hope that everyone has a great day, and please feel free to comment...I love you all so much! Take care...

Love, Ash


Family Outings...

Today after my exam, everyone except Graham went down to my uncle's office to get our teeth cleaned at the dentist.

Our wonderful bi-yearly trip is always graced with a rewarding trip to Pizza Hut, as well as detouring over to the Christian bookstore(where we always break down and buy something). This time I bought a book by Emily E. Ryan called Who Has Your Heart?: The Single Woman's Pursuit of Godliness.

I thought this would be an appropriate read, seeing as I am single right now. I want to serve God the best way that I can at this point in my life. This book seemed like a good inspiration, so I will let you know how it goes!

Well, off to the gym now, so have a good night!

Love, Ash

I got my G2!!!!

I'm so excited!! I just finished my driver's exam for my G2 test, and when we were through, my examiner told me that I passed!

What an awesome feeling...I love it! Can't wait to drive by myself now!

HOpe everyone has as awesome a day as I'm going to have! :D

Love, Ash


My week-end...

I had to work yesterday, but today was awesome! I went to church, and then practiced driving with Dad to get ready for my G2 test on Wednesday..btw, if anyone has any pointers, PLEASE let me know!!!

Then I went for a long walk with Ruth-Ann and went out for dinner too. Plus on top of all this happiness, there was a thunderstorm! Pretty much loved it!!!

I hope everyone had a great week-end...take care!

Love, ASh



I don't have much to say today, yet the words I do have to say come from the deepest parts of my heart. I miss all of you, my friends from Heritage! It has been two months, and they have been the longest two months of my life! I just want to say you are all in my thoughts, and I love you guys!
I also miss those of you that I haven't seen in a long time for whatever circumstance. I hope everyone takes care of themselves...

Have a blessed day!

Love, Ash


I'm Back...

Hi everyone!

I hope you all had a wonderful week! I know I did, even though I never went on the Internet. Actually, I didn't even notice. It was nice not to have to go on the internet.

But I did miss you all, talking to some of you on MSN and the like.

Last week I almost quit my job,like, was ready to leave that week, without giving 2 wks notice. I would still like to get another job, but I'm not sure. I think I just need to stick it out there. But I really really really don't want to! Remind me to look for jobs next summer while I am actually here in my town, so that I don't have to resort to that job EVER AGAIN!!! lol

I had a good week-end. I visited with friends that I haven't hung out with in a while, and also saw one of my cousins, my uncle, and my grandparents! It was great, and the fireworks were pretty much awesome.

I think it's so funny how, when you go down to the park to watch the fireworks, that there are sooo many people there. I was watching all those guys who think they're cool, you know, the ones with baggy pants and all, and how they strut around acting like they're machos and too cool for everyone else; however, we all know that they're there just to watch the fireworks like everyone else. Love it! hahaha

I'm sitting here listening to the third soundtrack for pirates of the caribbean, and reveling in the sound of my beloved french horn!!! If anyone wants to give me their French Horn that they're not using, PLEASE FEEL FREE! I get this euphoric sense of happiness every time I listen to the sound of this amazing instrument, and then a swift downfall of emotions, as I remember that I don't have one to play. It's been TWO years now, since I have touched one, but man, I am still in love, and can't wait to be reunited one day!

Well, have a great day....

Love to you all!