This is how life is...some days are good, and others are bad. However.
Our attitudes are a choice. I can choose to be happy or sad. Yet, it seems that there are days when I just want to be sad, because I honestly don't believe that there is any other reason to be happy.
Like right now.
When all I can honestly think about is Brasil and how much I miss the people there and the lifestyle. I don't understand how 51/2 months of living in one place can make such an impact on a person.
But it has.
Definitely.
And I can't seem to get it out of my mind.
It is almost as if I am plagued daily by memories of that beloved place.
And there are days when I feel like sobbing for hours and hours because I can't stand the thought of not being able to see the friends where the connections and love ran so deep.
Ai, que dor!! What pain I feel in my heart!
Yet, as I think about this, I can only remember my family and friends that I have here in Canada. I am so blessed, and yet am so selfish as to think about those I have only just met yet a short while ago. God has given me wonderful family and friends. And I suppose that being in Brasil only reinforced that fact- I have also made new wonderful friends there as well.
How can I be right, however, to desire to go back with such a longing that it fairly rips my heart out whenever I see a plane pass overhead in the clear blue sky? I don't understand, and nobody else does either. Oh, sure, everyone can sympathize. But I'm pretty sure that my family is going insane because everything seems to relate back to Brasil whenever I talk to them. And I'm also fairly sure that they are getting annoyed when I teach them little phrases in Portuguese just so I can share with them the joy I have in speaking it.
It comes to this: I don't know how to deal with these feelings anymore. I wish sometimes that God would take away my feelings for this place, but then I know that would be unrealistic, because some feelings can't change. Like, EVERYTHING seems to relate back to this wonderful country. Sometimes I'll be walking along and I'll smell something that reminds me so much of Brasil it brings tears to my eyes. How can I go on living like this???
I wish God was more clear in telling us what to do with our lives. I feel like I have no direction and that my only desire is to go back to Brasil.
OH THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!!!
Love, Ashleigh
3 comments:
HI Ash;
This seems so sad to read and try to put myself into your position.
I know that you have made some special friendships and bonds when you were in Brazil last year and these will never be forgotten.
God has really been at work in your life this past year and I think everyone has seen the maturity, which has developed in you through this time.
He has been with you through the bumps and trials and I am sure that He will be with you in these days as you are readjusting to being home with your family and probably missing school friends and now the thoughts of Brazil are also crowding in.
We will pray that you that He will help you through this time as He has in the past.
Lots of luv Nan
xoxo
HI Ash;
This seems so sad to read and try to put myself into your position.
I know that you have made some special friendships and bonds when you were in Brazil last year and these will never be forgotten.
God has really been at work in your life this past year and I think everyone has seen the maturity, which has developed in you through this time.
He has been with you through the bumps and trials and I am sure that He will be with you in these days as you are readjusting to being home with your family and probably missing school friends and now the thoughts of Brazil are also crowding in.
We will pray that you that He will help you through this time as He has in the past
Lots of luv Nan
xoxo
HI Ash;
This seems so sad to read and try to put myself into your position.
I know that you have made some special friendships and bonds when you were in Brazil last year and these will never be forgotten.
God has really been at work in your life this past year and I think everyone has seen the maturity, which has developed in you through this time.
He has been with you through the bumps and trials and I am sure that He will be with you in these days as you are readjusting to being home with your family and probably missing school friends and now the thoughts of Brazil are also crowding in.
We will pray that you that He will help you through this time as He has in the past
Lots of luv Nan
xoxo
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