When sleep eludes...

I am sitting here, with the full knowledge that I should go to bed, as I have to work early in the morning. And yet, for some reason, I cannot. My stomach has a case of the nervous butterflies.

My week-end was filled with wonderful moments, and my heart is full and overflowing with warmth and so much love.

On Saturday, Ruth-Ann came and visited me. She had never seen my house before, so I was eager for her to finally be ushered into my "home sweet home". We had a great day together, catching up, sharing laughter, and enjoying the beautiful day as I showed her around the "downtowns" that are in my city. Although our time was short, I can safely say that it was much appreciated and definitely needed. I miss spending time with her, and am always glad when it feels like old times.

I spent all of Sunday with Jake. We went to church in the morning, and listened to a challenging sermon from John 13:1-17. Pastor Dave challenged us to become selfless like Jesus, when he washed the disciples feet. He reminded us that when we become humble and think about others, we can more fully demonstrated Jesus' love to them. It was also communion today, which I haven't had a chance to take in a long time (not because I haven't been right with God, but just missing the service when it comes around).

Jake made me lunch, and then we went for a walk outside, in the gorgeous sunlight. It was delightful to reminisce on our summer last year, as we went back to where we used to go on those balmy evenings, wearing flip flop sandals and flirting shamelessly. Not to say that there was no flirting yesterday- I dare say there might have even been more :) But definitively less mosquito bites by the river. Yes, I say, it was a lovely walk and an altogether blessed day.

What do you think heaven is going to be like? I have been thinking a lot about Jesus' return lately, and what it's going to be like to worship him with all the people who have ever lived! How will I be able to speak in His presence? I hope he lets me play in the orchestra- I will be so honoured to play my French horn for His glory...

I feel truly blessed to know so many people who love me. Sometimes I wonder why. I certainly don't deserve the love and support that I receive from many of my friends and family. And yet it is there, and they are there, with open arms.

Lately I have been thinking back to when I had to go in the hospital last April. The one year anniversary is coming up on the 4th. I notice deeper relationships I have with some people because of that. I also notice how more people care. I notice how much more at ease I am to talk about it. I notice how much more grateful I am for life, for the air I breathe, and for the mobility I have in my body. God is so good, you know? I feel like so many times I have messed up, or life has messed me up, and even though I don't deserve to get a second chance, God stretches out his arms and says, "Here's the crappy situation, but take these blessings. Learn from this, but have my love and grace. Your life will be changed, but you need to grow. Let me love you. Let me teach you the hard way, but let me love you." I feel SO incredibly blessed, looking back on this past year. So much has happened in that time, so many good things, some bad things, but God has been present the whole time. Without Him, I am nothing. He is my strength, minha forca. All glory and honour be to his name.
"Blessing and honor and glory and power
be to Him who sits on the throne,
and to the Lamb, forever and ever."
-Revelation 5:13b-


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