Cold Weather and Coffee House...

Tonight I am in a ranting mood. So be forewarned.

I enjoy dancing, so I don't see anything wrong with it. I think it's fine as long as you're having fun and you're not doing anything too sketchy. The last act of the coffee house tonight, which was the worst one I've been to yet, someone was lip synching a song that was, shall we say, "dance-able". So some of us were dancing to them in the back, just having fun, but of course the administration came in at that very point and made us turn it off.

Of course I must respect the rules of the school, and for some reason they don't like dancing here. But I LOVE dancing! How can someone hear a song and not want to move? It's so stifling!!!

I don't have many problems with this school, so I feel rather foolish venting. I just feel like dancing is a natural part of having fun, and yet we aren't allowed to do it.

I don't want to be ignorant and say I don't care. I applied to be a Residence Advisor next year, and I feel that they might judge me because of this issue. If I am chosen to be an R.A., I won't be able to dance because I would have to set an example. I would be so sad if that happened.

I am so torn! And I'm making it into a bigger issue than it needs to be.

But I will try to behave :)

I hope you all have a great night.



Michael said...

I can relate to your frustration, the community standards are not perfect, no code of conduct is. Let me ask you this, would you be as frustrated if you were drinking and you were asked to stop? What if you were smoking or if you decided to live off campus in a common-law relationship? These are all part of the community standards which you agreed to abide by when you chose to become part of the community. When it comes to leadership, like it or not you will be held to a higher standard, and that must always be in your mind when you are a leader. You know that morality cannot be legislated and the heart condition is more important than external actions but consider the inward attitude when you decide that your personal preference is more important than the community standards you have agreed to abide by and (if in leadership) have committed to uphold and (if neccessary) enforce.

Like I said the rules are not perfect, and honestly I do not agree with all of them, but they are there and there is a reason (though not aways a sound one) for them. The community standards at Heritage are for the most part very reasonable and are much better than many other such schools and have progressed significantly from what they were. If it really does bother you, go and have a chat with Mark W. ask why such rules are in place. You also need to know that the school went through a period when the community standards were disregarded by a fair number of students and it reflected very poorly on the school and had a number of repercussions. Know that these things aren't just pulled out of thin air to kill some fun at one coffeehouse. There are times when an individual's preference or personal conviction must give way to the needs and/or reputation of community.

I personally have no issue with many forms of dancing and think it can be a wonderful social activity. My views on other items in the community standards also differ from what they specify, however while I am a part of this community I will uphold the standards & reputation of it.

You're a great girl Ash, and I'm sure you'd be a very good RA, just remember, if you do take on that role, you are to be an example and there will be times when you must give up your own rights for the good of the community.

Annie said...

Aw, Ash... I can understand what you're saying... BUT don't forget it's only temporary :) I'm excited about you applying to be RA... I hope you get it :):) <3 you!!!

Singinglady said...

Dear Ash,

Although I read your posting earlier today, I did not get a chance to write a reply until now.

I am rather glad that I didn’t either, as I have just finished reading the comments your friends have already shared with you.

Your friend Michael wrote a very thoughtful and I think caring and reasonable response.

There is much in it for you to think about and I think I would likely have said much the same words.

He said them well!

As you go through life there are going to be many times when your ideas may differ from the establishment that you are involved in.

It doesn’t necessarily mean that you are wrong or that they are either.

However they have set standards and rules that you will be expected to abide by as long as you are a part of that situation and this is I think, what is coming into play right now for you …

I am sure that you were just frustrated by how things went and that after thinking about it and putting things in to perspective, that although this is a season in your life, if you want to be a part of it, you may have to put some of your own ideas on the back burner and if you want to be in a leadership situation next year, then, while you are doing that, you will have to respect the rules that they have put in place.

Your friend also had a suggestion that maybe you could speak to someone regarding that RA position, just to clarify that if you were interested in taking it on, that you would do the very best of your ability to be an exemplary leader, (which I am sure you would be!)

These are my words to you, and I hope you will take them in the spirit that I have given them and that you will think about what your friends have shared with you as well.

One last thought that has just come to me, is, that in a world where just about anything goes, and when you think about the life styles at a secular university and college, it is good to know that there are some standards that are being set these days at our school and I think you are so blessed to be a part of that whole setting.

Don’t throw out the baby with the bath water!

Lots of luv


Anonymous said...


I would just like to say that I'm with Ashley on this one. It is ok to be frustrated, for several reasons. First of all, we live in a free society as Canadians and as Christians, and laws that don't directly violate teachings that God revealed to us are up for reasonable inquiry. Smoking and dancing are not mandated as sinful. So, for people to compare it to drunkenness or sexual sin is not reasonable. Those we don't question for obvious reasons. Dancing can be questioned.

Secondly, I'm pretty sure that the code of conduct doesn't say that you won't shake your hips during some music in the chapel. It says that you won't go out to a bar or hold a dance party.

So, please everyone, stop pushing the whole 'good Christians are nice and don't cause a fuss' routine on Ashleigh, she's got every right to the way she feels. If a select group of people want to start coming in and running peoples' lives like Soviet communists during wartime based on a very loose interpretation of some rules, then we need to be able to complain.

Have a good day.