Handing in My Two Week's Notice!

Yes, it is official-I'm finally quitting my job! After all these past few weeks feeling like the summer would never end, I finally made the decision to quit my job and get on with my life. I'm so excited! My last day will be on August 11th, and allthough it is only two weeks, I think it's going to be the longest two weeks of my life!

Although I am quitting, I still don't have another job. Some of you might think I am crazy for quitting without another job, and to tell you the truth, it IS crazy. I vowed that I would never do that again. However, if I stay there, I will keep feeling trapped, and I don't want to feel like that anymore! So now it is the job hunt that I go on!

I should go now-I didn't have breakfast and I'm so hungry, and then I have to work. Yay...lol.

Hope that everyone has a great day!

Love, Ash

Live

I was listening to Nicole Nordeman's CD Brave just now, and I heard this song and decided to post the lyrics here. They're really great, and I hope you like them as much as I did!

Live sung by Nicole Nordeman
Did you come that we might just survive?
Did you come so we could just get by?
Did you walk among us
So we might merely limp along beside?

I was bound, I have been set free
But I have settled for apathy
Did you come to make me new
And know I'd crawl right back into the skin you found me in?

It's where I am, not where I've been

You make me want to live
You make me want to live
You came to shake us
And to wake us up to something more
Than we'd always settled for
And you make me want to live

We've all been up on the mountain top
A golden glow that's bound to soon wear off
Then it's back to the mundane telling tales of glory days
When we were hopeful that this change was here to stay

So why would a young man
Live in a waste land
When the castle of his dreams is standing by?W
hy would a princess
Put on an old dress
To dance with her beloved and a chance to catch his eye?

I'm Sorry.

Dear friends and family:

I just want to apologize for my past few blogs. I am aware of my frustration with my job, but this blog was meant to encourage all of you and not bring you down! I want this place to be a place of positivity, somewhere you can come to read and feel refreshed. I should not have been so negative in my previous blogs. I have decided to stay positive, to find things that made my day happy instead of tiresome.

I had a very good chat with Mom last night. She said to me, "Ash, why are you getting all uptight about this job? If you don't like it, just hand in your two weeks notice and find another one!" ...You know, I really love how Mom's are sometimes. Well, my mom anyways. They just get right down to the point. It's true, I mean, I only got this job for the summer anyways, so I'll just leave it at that-just a summer job. Why get all freaked out and stressed? I'm still young-I don't need to feel like I absolutely NEED to stay in one job. Obviously it is not my type of job anyways, and now I am aware of that. I'm still discovering what my fortes are in life, and THAT is definitely NOT one of them!!! Lol...

Oh, it feels so good to just relax. I've been so tightly wound this week that I think I was slowly cutting off my circulation. My poor family, what they've had to put up with! I'm sorry you guys...I do love ya and I don't want to be the grouchy sister!

Thanks to all of you who were praying for me. I really appreciated it a lot!!!

Yesterday we took Mel and the kids to Nana and Poppa's to stay for the week. It was good to see them again, and I'm sure they will all have a wonderful week!

I have to work on biology again today, because I want to get this unit finished by Wednesday so I can send my questions to get marked. We'll see how it goes...

I should go, but I thank you all for reading my blogs and some of you for taking the time to comment. I would just ask that you leave your name, so that I know who writes the comments. If you don't want to write your name, you can leave a nickname that you know I would know.

Have a great day!

Love, Ash

Apathy....

Yesterday, at work, I just didn't care. I don't know why, but I didn't feel like doing anything, so I just sort of sat there waiting for calls and reading my books and crocheting. Whatever, I said. LOL...

I also handed in my resume to a restaurant, hoping that I can learn how to become a waitress. I am going crazy with my job, and I'm not doing the best that I can. I'm just going through the day like at half-mast. I told Dad last night, "I just want to work with real live people!!! That way we can all be happy and nice and no one will yell at me just because I'm a voice on the other end." (However yesterday, if I had had a customer who yelled and screamed, I really wouldn't have cared.)

I know that there are hardships in every job, and if I do get a job waitressing I will probably have some more hardships stories to share. But I just want to get out of this place now!

ok...one day I will be content...I promise

Hope everyone has a good day!

Love, Ash

Jesus Love...

Written July 6/07....

Need to love someone-
I put all my love on you.
Jesus, I am yours.

Show me how to love.
The kind of love that God shows-
My heart is ready.

Want to feel His warmth.
Sometimes earthly love is cold.
Jesus, hold me tight!

-AshWin-

I think I'm going CRAZY!!!

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, but I honestly can't stand being at home in the mornings. It seems that everyone is driving me crazy, and I get easily irritated at the stupidest things. Even the little things, like leaving their dirty plates on the table.

AAAAAH!!! What is WRONG with me! I don't want to be irritable, but it just comes out of me! It's like a plague that never goes away. I would like to blame it on the job. I really would. But I know that it's more than that. It's my very attitude itself. I LET myself get irritated.

I feel sorry for Graham and Karl and Vanessa(and sometimes when Mel is home, her too). I don't want to be that way. So I'm trying to work on it. And I'm sorry. But I really need to get out of here. I'm going stir crazy.

I think that's just it-everybody is going away in the fall...except for a few people I know. Like, they're going off to school or travelling or something. And I'm not. I have to stay here. Just Here. Working at the same job and doing the same homework for biology and chemistry. HELP ME!!!!! I love being home, but I love change too, and I'm not satisfied to stay in one place right now. I feel like I need to explore and travel and see different places, get it all out of me, you know?

Whatever...like that is going to happen. I'll just have to be content to stay here, and retreat to my room when I start to get irritable.

Please pray...my job is really getting to me good. It's bringin' me down man, it's bringin' me down!!! LOL....I just feel like laughing. for some strange, odd reason. I know...I told you I'm crazy.

Love, Ash

DAYZZZZZZZ....

Yes, I know, I haven't written in a while. Thanks for bearing with me and praying for me even though I haven't shed light on my life for a few days.

Well..still looking for another job. NO, have not quit my old one(and that's just it...it's getting old...REAL old...and FAST!) It's difficult though, because all the university students are still here, so all the jobs are taken.

Work actually went pretty well today. I was surprised, because yesterday was surely a bad day. However..God makes us stronger through days like that Thankfully!!!

Not too much of interest going on, unfortunately, so I shall bid you all "Adieu"!
sleep tight...
Love, Ash

p.s...

I totally forgot one of the most important aspects of my drive home last night...Most of the time our wipers on the van are temperamental, and they only work when they want to. So, I was kind of nervous, hoping they wouldn't quit on me. As soon as I turned the van on, they worked, and stayed working for the WHOLE way home!! That was definitely a God thing, because I was SO worried about it, and mom told me that they weren't working earlier in the day! It was so cool!!

Well, my night went well...fast actually, which was surprising. I wanted to call in SOOO bad today, and I was NOT in the mood for listening to crabby customers. Thankfully I didn't have hardly ANY crabby customers today!! It was awesome!

Well...I'm going to go eat something before bed... have to work tomorrow too!

Have a good sleep..
Love Ash

Wonderful Crazy Thunderstorms!!

I was at work last night, inside our dreaded dungeon listening to the rain beat on the roof with a ferocity that somewhat scared me. However, although I could not see for myself the wonderful storm, I had to be content with just listening to the pounding rain, and the boom of the thunder. When I finished work, the torrent still hadn't diminished yet, and I had to drive home being careful of the waters that had flooded some of the roads. It was an adventure, and all of a sudden I felt like I was back in Brasil again, and this time I was the driver.

I can remember the torrential rains that I experienced there, and although last night did bring heavy rain, nothing could compare!

But enough about the rain, I'm kind of cold today, and honestly, I would rather the heat right now! I do enjoy this breeze, but could do away with cold fingers as I type away.

I worked on biology for about an hour just now, and I am up to my neck in cells and organelles and mitochondria and, yes Mom, GOLGI BODIES!!! lol My goal is to finish this unit in 2 wks, so I have a little bit to go yet.

I hope that everyone has a great day...I'm going to go find somewhere that I can be warm!

Love, Ash

My moonlit drive

Last night I was driving the van home from work, and I saw a couple from my work walking home, but couldn't stop safely enough to ask them if they wanted a ride home. So I turned into a nearby parking lot so I could wait for them, and I was just about to turn myself around when I noticed the moon.

Oh, words can't describe the beauty. I looked up and there was a HUGE sliver of the moon hanging from the black sky. But it wasn't yellow or white like normal. No, it was like the colour of a dusty rose, like a nice shade of pink like that. Oh! It was gorgeous! I just had to sit there and stare at it for a while, thanking God for the beauty that he has created for his own glory, and so that we can enjoy it!

Needless to say, I didn't take those people home(they went a different way anyways), and I just drove home happy to be alive!

Love, Ash