I don't know why, but parenting seems even more daunting than marriage. Becoming one with another person seemed to come so naturally, to flow into the trajectory of my life. And yet, this, this absolutely terrifying journey we're on now is both exhilarating and humbling. Raising a little life, protecting it and teaching it is a thousand times more different than getting married to a fully capable, fully grown human being. This little person needs to learn about Jesus, and needs to learn how to discern right from wrong, who to trust and who to protect him/herself from. And all of that, is my job. Our job. It seems so right that God's plan from the start was for children to have both a mother and a father, since most of the time I don't feel like I have enough pluck to do this whole motherhood thing!
This waiting period, as the baby grows and we weigh out names, has been fun. Most days I don't even feel pregnant. Every day Jake asks me, "How's baby?" and I say, "Baby's good", because that is as good as I can guess at this point. We look in the mirror, and up until last week I was convinced my belly hadn't grown a centimeter since the 6 week mark. It's more noticeable now in the evening, but then I blame it on the pasta we had for lunch.
Today we're going for the BIG ultrasound-I'm 18 weeks tomorrow- and we're not going to find out the sex. I love surprises too much to ruin it now! But even last night we were thinking, what are we going to do that moment the nurse says, "So, do you want to find out what you're having?" I will never yield!