When does social eating change from healthy permissiveness to dietary promiscuity?*
How badly do I want to stay fit?
How does one change an unhealthy mindset?
Is one evening of greasy/fatty treats ever worth it in the long run?
These questions were running through my head today, after thinking about some of the foodie decisions from the week-end.
I'm sure you've all been there. You made a decision to eat a certain way (eating only plant-based foods, abstaining from alcohol,etc), but were influenced by the friends you were around at the time or the social situation in which you found yourself(AKA Christmas parties, etc).
I've discovered that sticking to my guns is the hardest thing to do when I'm surrounded by other people. But do you want to know my biggest pet peeve? It's when someone comments or points out something about me.
"Oh, Ashleigh, you're such a healthy eater now. I bet you won't want any of this."
"Stick with me long enough, and you'll eat all the unhealthy things."
I can't even remember all the comments that I've heard. It's just so discouraging, because, yes, I've made that decision, but I also don't want to offend people and make them feel bad. For a good chunk of the time, I will keep to my word and eat the way I had planned. On occasion, I want to prove that I'm normal, if you will, and that I can eat whatever I want and don't have to be so legalistic.
Therein lies the problem. I start eating unhealthy so that I can fit in.
What is up with THAT?!
This isn't highschool anymore, but A.) I get teased for my clean-eating efforts, or B.) inadvertently, I make people feel bad about the food choices they're making.
Yes, I've lost an amazing amount of weight, and yes, I've gained some discipline pertaining to areas of exercise and eating and yes, I now understand the meaning of 'healthy'. But I'm no expert.
Thankfully, I have this space to hash out ideas, to share with you the things I'm learning, and to learn from you, since I know some are struggling with similar things. Thanks for reading all these blogs that seem to carry the same thread, for sticking with me.
The best realization is that we can never go back to where we started. We have too much knowledge, and we've changed in such a way that to do anything different would mean reverting to our old self.
Scary how similarly our physical struggles resemble our spiritual ones, no?
*Terminology credited to my wordy husband