I haven't been able to write since I've been out of the hospital, but I figured I should start blogging again sooner or later. On Saturday it was exactly a month from the time I collapsed, and since then I have not doubted God's love for me, although I have doubted why this happened to me. Unless God decides to reveal the answer to me, I will never know, so it is almost better to stop thinking about it. I know that everyone says God had a reason for this, and it touched many people's lives, but it's different for me because I was actually the one who went through it. I am experiencing it from another point of view. However, I don't want anyone trying to give me answers, because I think sometimes we speak too much, rather than just accept the fact that God knows them all. I am just giving some random thoughts, things I have been thinking about.
I know one thing for sure. God is breaking down my pride, because I have had to be dependent on people for things. It is so hard to ask for rides places, or ask someone to help me carry something when I know full well I can carry it. Even being in the hospital was humiliating itself, having no modesty, and people seeing me at my "worst", as it were. I know God will continually do work on me over the span of my lifetime, and this is definitely the lesson for right now.
However, there is much to look forward to, like getting a job, and finishing out my semester. I decided to live in dorm this summer, and I am looking forward to it.
I want to thank all of you again for your prayers while I was sick, but please continue to pray for me, because I am still trying to recover and test my limits.
Thanks so much!