Life

Ah, Vida....la vie...

What a crazy little thing called life. Sometimes I wonder what the heck I'm doing with my life. Other times it seems like things are going ok, and why do I worry so much?

But all I know is that there are so many things I need to learn. I wish I could flip a switch and have my imperfections and flaws taken care of just like that. Sometimes I get so embarrassed at the way I am. But I know that God wants us to learn how to deal with the flaws, and to lean on him to make the change in our lives. It's "Character Building".

Well, you know what? Sometimes I get so tired of "character building". It's so cliche. I wish that I could run away with myself and my mouth.

I want to apologize to anyone who I have hurt with the things I say. I always speak before I have time to think about what I'm going to say and how I must say it. I always admired the people who, when you tell them something, furrow their brows and look away, and THEN respond. Why can't I be like that too? Why do I have to be so impatient all the time and just blurt something out?

That's another one...PATIENCE. You think I've had enough time to practice that one. But NO, I'm still as impatient as ever. Sometimes I wonder if God uses his sense of humour on me in this area of my life, like making me the magnet for people that need a little EXTRA patience.


And Selfishness...Another BIG huge...ENTITY in my life. I hate it. I hate how most of the time I don't even THINK about others; like, it doesn't even cross my mind. It's always me first me first me first.

Well, Not if I can help it. I don't want to be this way anymore. I'm tired of living with myself. Of course I'm not expecting myself to be perfect, but I can definitely step it up a LOT. God knows where I need to change. I just need to be into him more than I have been, and to keep him close so that I CAN change.

Please pray. PRAY PRAY PRAY. I am telling myself this as well, because I don't pray like I should. Pray for my Poppa. He's in the hospital and not doing as well as he should be. Nana needs him. I don't know what she would do without him. And my family needs him. and I need him. But God knows what will happen, and He has a purpose and a plan for everything that happens.

Love, Ash