My Sister-the Star!!

My sister Melissa is going to be, and already is, a star! I'm so proud of her!

I'm going to explain, don't worry.

Melissa sang about 3 songs in the Kiwanis Festival this year, and her marks were amazing. So amazing, in fact, that the head people of the Festival called her up and asked her if she would like to sing at the Stars of the Festival. This is an evening where only the best of the best perform, and there are only about 20 participants(that's not very many, considering there are so many divisions in the Festival, including piano, violin, vocal, concert bands, and more) This is also the evening where they hand out trophies and monetary awards to other performances who were also excellent.

Now, I'm not saying that everyone else who was in the festival isn't good enough to perform for this evening, however, you have to admit it is such an honour to be asked to be in this special performance at the end of the festival.

And out of all the many people who performed, Melissa was one of the people they asked to perform!!! I'm so excited, and so proud of her! This will be her first time on stage by herself in front of an audience, and although she is nervous, it is a wonderful opportunity. If any of you see her in the next week(the performance is next Monday) just encourage her and/or congratulate her, because this is a very big deal in her life!

Melissa, good luck, I know you are going to be amazing, and I look forward to hearing you sing finally!!! Love you!

Love, Ash

Rain and Rainbows

Last night on our 45 min. lunch break(shhhh...don't tell anyone I said that, because we're only supposed to get 30 min.!!) I walked to Subway to get something to eat. I was just a little bit upset about walking, I mean, it is ONLY 10 min. away, but there were some snobby girls from my training class who went right past me, and didn't even offer to pick me up.

Pretending to be nonplussed, i turn away and look at the sky, only to notice part of a rainbow in and among the clouds.

It was then that I knew that I was meant to walk to Subway. If I hadn't walked, I would not have noticed that rainbow. I would not have even been looking at the sky. It was a reminder that we need to slow things down. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Next time it rains, just go for a slow walk with someone you love and look for one!

It also reminded me of God's promise in the book of Genesis. He said that by displaying a rainbow, he is telling us that he will never again flood the whole earth like he did when Noah was alive.

I know that some people have changed the meaning of the rainbow, but I know what I believe. It is a sign of hope and peace, and God's blessings and promises to us.

I hope that everyone has a great day today...enjoy the rain: the smell of earth, the feel of the mist lightly touching your skin, the renewal that it brings!

Love, Ash

A New Job and a Sore Bottom

I started my new job yesterday. It was...LONG.

Eight hours of solid training in a computer lab is, to say the least, very tiring. However, I am getting paid to train, and it will definitely be helpful in the end. I mean, if I wasn't getting trained, I would not be prepared to do the job at all.

But I rode my bike(or I guess I should say, my mom's bike) for the first time in what seems like infinity, and my bottom hurts so bad from that stupid seat! I suppose I will get used to it in time, but for now I don't really want to sit down anywhere! haha

I should go now- have lots of things to do and little time to do them.

I hope that everyone has a great day!

Love, Ash

Today is the Day!

with all this hubbub of excitement I feel for starting my new job today, I hope that it actually goes well!
I'm looking forward to it!
This morning mom and I went to the gym and worked out-it was good, spending time with her and just bonding. I love doing that, and I hope that I can be as dedicated as she is to this! I'm so proud of her!

Well...hope everyone has a great afternoon. I will let you all know how my first day went tomorrow!

Love, Ashleigh

Random

I just feel like writing again...BORED.

I'm so excited about starting my job tomorrow.

I've heard many MANY mixed feelings towards this type of job, but I'm keeping positive.

My goal is to learn much, to become more patient and more tolerant.

I believe that you can learn something from every situation you are in, so I'm looking forward to see what the summer brings!

Love, Ash

It's a New Day

Good morning to all.

I hope that my last blog did not alarm you too much. Considering I have never shared my true feelings with many of you concerning Brasil,I know that my words came on very sad and depressed. However, I was feeling much better yesterday and today as well. I do have days when I feel very sad like I was on Friday night, and I find that writing about it or talking it over with people helps very much so. It's just something I have learned to deal with as I adjust and go through changes in my life.

Yesterday was a wonderful day. I saw two of my friends get married-it was a wonderful wedding. I got to go out for lunch with one of my sisters, and then in the evening I went to a choral performance with my other sister.

What a beautiful sunny day it is today! I hope that I can get outside to enjoy it. I hope that everyone has a great day, spending time with family or just enjoying the day.

Love, Ashleigh

Oh man

This is how life is...some days are good, and others are bad. However.
Our attitudes are a choice. I can choose to be happy or sad. Yet, it seems that there are days when I just want to be sad, because I honestly don't believe that there is any other reason to be happy.
Like right now.
When all I can honestly think about is Brasil and how much I miss the people there and the lifestyle. I don't understand how 51/2 months of living in one place can make such an impact on a person.
But it has.
Definitely.
And I can't seem to get it out of my mind.
It is almost as if I am plagued daily by memories of that beloved place.
And there are days when I feel like sobbing for hours and hours because I can't stand the thought of not being able to see the friends where the connections and love ran so deep.
Ai, que dor!! What pain I feel in my heart!

Yet, as I think about this, I can only remember my family and friends that I have here in Canada. I am so blessed, and yet am so selfish as to think about those I have only just met yet a short while ago. God has given me wonderful family and friends. And I suppose that being in Brasil only reinforced that fact- I have also made new wonderful friends there as well.

How can I be right, however, to desire to go back with such a longing that it fairly rips my heart out whenever I see a plane pass overhead in the clear blue sky? I don't understand, and nobody else does either. Oh, sure, everyone can sympathize. But I'm pretty sure that my family is going insane because everything seems to relate back to Brasil whenever I talk to them. And I'm also fairly sure that they are getting annoyed when I teach them little phrases in Portuguese just so I can share with them the joy I have in speaking it.

It comes to this: I don't know how to deal with these feelings anymore. I wish sometimes that God would take away my feelings for this place, but then I know that would be unrealistic, because some feelings can't change. Like, EVERYTHING seems to relate back to this wonderful country. Sometimes I'll be walking along and I'll smell something that reminds me so much of Brasil it brings tears to my eyes. How can I go on living like this???

I wish God was more clear in telling us what to do with our lives. I feel like I have no direction and that my only desire is to go back to Brasil.

OH THE HUMANITY OF IT ALL!!!

Love, Ashleigh

God is so good....Deus e tao bom!!!

I was totally worried yesterday as to what I should do with this whole job thing. I was weighing out the pros and cons and going over everything that I would do.

So when today finally came, and I headed over to my soon-to-be place of employment, I was not even sure what I was going to say to Suzie*.
She pulls out some sheets for me to sign, and then offhandedly remarks that she was able to get Sundays off for me.

Inside, my head was screaming at me, "SHE WHAT?!!!" I was so excited, and when she came back in the room, I thanked her profusely.

Now I am excited, I have a full time job in the summer, doing something totally different and new, making more money than Tim Hortons, and I don't have to work on Sundays!!!

God answers prayer that's for sure! I know it may not seem like this all the time, but obviously he wanted me to take this job for some reason or another! I am so happy and I just want to tell the world!!!

I hope everyone has a great afternoon...I'm headed off to get a check-up on my braces and other fun things such as this!

I start my new job on Monday, and I'm looking forward to see what God has in store for me this summer!

Love, Ash

Home and A New Job

Ok, so here's how it goes.

I came home last Friday, and ever since then I have been settling in and spending time with my family.
Now it's time to get a job.

So, yesterday I called this place, and the lady, Suzie* wanted me to come in for an computer test. I completed this, and made an appointment for an interview this morning.

The Interview
(now completed, and me shaking like a nervous leaf)
Suzie: I would like to offer you a job.
Me: Oh Thank you!
Suzie: Now, are you available on week-ends?
Me: On Saturdays yes, but Sundays, no, because I go to church.
Suzie, troubled: Oh, this is going to be a problem.
Me: (to myself-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!)

Then she asks me when the service is and asks if I would be able to work afterwards. What am I supposed to say? I guess so, i mean, I would prefer not to, I mean, I ONLY QUIT MY JOB AT THE LIBRARY 4 YEARS AGO BECAUSE THEY WANTED ME TO WORK ON SUNDAYS!!!

Ok, ok, I'll calm down. But seriously. Doesn't the Lord say we are supposed to have some sort of a Sabbath day? Sure, for some people it could be Saturdays or Mondays, but for me it happens to be Sundays because that is when church is. Does nobody recognize the need for the world to be still at least one day of the week? When will anyone notice that God is even there if we work 24/7!!! That was God's whole plan: He created the world in 6 days and then rested on the 7th as a model for us to go by. Who cares what day of the week it is, as long as we take time to rest and SLOW DOWN.

So what am I doing if I say yes I will work on Sundays!!! Am I going against all that I have stood up for? Am I giving in to the world? Does it even matter anymore? I mean, everyone works on Sundays but do I have to as well? What happens if I say , No, I won't work? Will I get another good job that offers as much money as they do? Am I willing enough to trust God and hope that He has another job for me?

I mean, with this job I can't even get another part time job because the hours are so crazy. Does that mean that I might have to use OSAP for second semester and be in crazy debt?!!! I don't want to use OSAP, and that was the purpose of this summer, to get a full time and part time job so I would NOT have to resort to OSAP.

This is a crazy rant...I'm sorry, guys, I'm just trying to work out my thoughts. I'm really frustrated and not too sure what this next week will bring. Trusting in God is never easy, but I'm going to be doing a lot of praying tonight so that I can have an answer for Suzie tomorrow.

The team going to pakistan from our school left today, so if everyone could pray that God will keep them safe in this part of the world especially.

Thanks for reading, sorry I'm so messed up today.
Hope everyone has a great day..
Love, Ash

*name changed to protect the innocent

School is Almost Finished!!!

I must apologize to those of you who look forward to reading my blogs. I am going through blogging withdrawal, and I would like to end this school year with a positive note.

I only have one more exam left, and that will be tomorrow at 9AM. It is my hardest one, and I am going to be doing much studying later on today.

Right now I am cherishing this wonderful day that God has given to us. The day is beautiful, although the storm clouds have overtaken the sun. It's brilliant face is hiding, and now I look forward to an earth shaking thunderstorm(oh, how I wish!). The wind is balmy and strong, and I hope it will continue like this for the rest of the day.

Oh, I love this time of year! I have never felt so alive as I have these past three days when the sun was shining with all of it's might, and the skies were blue! It seems like everyone here on campus felt the same way, and I have enjoyed the company of these people immensely.

I was writing in my journal last night, reflecting on this past year. I have been so blessed by the people that I have met here. And to think that I almost didn't want to come! What a community! What a wonderful group of people! Yes, we all have our faults, and perfection does not abound here. However, we love one another and show that love when we sit in the sun talking, listening to people play guitar, whatever the case may be.

I am horrible with goodbyes. Although I know that many of the people here are coming back in the fall, there are a few that I may never see again until heaven! I want to tell those people that I love them with all my heart, and it was such a pleasure to get to know them this year! (You know who you are!)

This week is going to be bittersweet, but I am going to take advantage of every moment.
Love, Ash