Loving Him for Him...

I love how much Jake and I learn about each other even after almost four years of marriage, and how often I still have to fight gender role stereotypes.  We have recently had an influx of mice poop in the cupboard under the sink, so yesterday found me buying a few traps at the store.  I've never placed bait on a trap, never set one, and most certainly have never disposed of a freshly dead mouse caught in one.  I [wrongly] assumed Jake had done all of these things [since he is a man], and as I was readying to place a trap in the cupboard last night, I projected my assumptions on to him.  Needless to say, miscommunication ensued and frustrations mounted until finally one of us conceded that we'd gone about things the wrong way. 

Now with the air cleared, I can see that this isn't just a one-time happenstance.  I have often assumed things about what my husband can or cannot do, will or won't do, does and does not think based upon my pre-conceived notions of what husbands or men in general do.  I don't take into account that he is his own person.  I don't take into account that he is not my father, brother, grandfather, etc. I place him into the stereotypical male 'mold' and wonder why he doesn't just 'fit'.  

I love my husband the way he is, and I love discovering new things about him. In the future I want to do better at seeing, understanding, assuming, and accepting him through a Jake lens rather than lumping him in with the general male populace.


1 comment:

krystle ann-marie said...

Agree with you 100%. Time {and understanding} is so important for learning!