My plan is to take six weeks off from work, and then to return to my evening shift (since I work split shifts) so that Jake can take care of the baby during those three hours. However, I'm saddened that I may not have the same students I had before. My students will be given to other teachers, and the only way they might come back to me is if they request for me.
So you see, I'm happy to have been approved for this time off to spend with our baby, but I'm frustrated that I will have to build up my student base all over again. It's been especially difficult to say goodbye to them, since this week is the Korean thanksgiving, and many have been unable to make their lessons due to visiting relatives and traveling.
This morning I groggily rolled my way out of bed (looking, I imagine, almost identical to a beached whale) at 4:40am for my lesson at 5 and thought naively, "Ah, only two more days of getting up at stupid-o-clock."
And yet.
I really have no idea what life with our newborn will be like. I grew up with younger siblings, but only remember my youngest brother's baby years the best. Even then, I wasn't his mother (although I still felt and do have a special protective and nurturing bond for him), so I wasn't fully aware of the behind-the-scenes that my parents experienced.
Despite whatever sleepless nights that may come, I can honestly say I am excited for this next phase in our lives. Everything is new, scary, and exciting all rolled into one. For now, all I want to do is to hold our precious baby in my arms and to finally look at his/her face, to touch those arms and legs that have been just out of reach but oh-so-present all these months, and to drink in the sweet smell that is a newborn's skin.
Love,
Ashleigh
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| 39 weeks and 2 days |
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