6.24.2007

p.s....

I forgot to mention that I'm taking internet sabbatical this week. I have been spending entirely too much time online, and I need to take a break!

I do love you all, and hope that everyone takes care and has a wonderful week! If you want to call me, my number is in the phone book! lol...

Love, Ash

Sundays...

I love Sundays...I get to go to church and then either we relax or go and visit our grandparents on special holidays...it's great!

Today we went to church, and then this afternoon I played frisbee with Karl at the park. It was awesome! We stayed for about an hour, and then played on the swings for a while. He is soooo cute!

Mom gave us money for slushies, so we went and got hyper off of coke slushies...perfect day for them too!

Well, it's my day off tomorrow, pretty excited!

hope everyone had a good week-end...

Love, Ash

6.22.2007

Take it One Day at a Time...

Well, I have survived yet another week at my job...

I was in training for Tech yesterday and today, so that was a nice change as my schedule was from 7:00 to 3:30.

Thanks to everyone who has been praying for me. I am going to survive, but I'm just feeling a little bit overwhelmed.

My blog is being slow tonight, so that's all I'm going to write...Hope everyone has a great night!

Love, Ash

6.18.2007

Money is NOT everything

I'm thinking about getting a new job. Distributed about 5 resumes downtown today. My job is NOT going as well as I had hoped, and I have lasted better than some people who get a job there.

As much as I thought this job would be good for the money, honestly, it's NOT worth it. I want to be happy, and I don't think that choosing to stay at a job where the majority of the calls are negative is a place that I would describe "positive".

Lots of people have told me to stick it out, that it's only 8 wks left, or not to take it so personally. Haha...you're talking to someone who cries over the stupidest things, and you tell ME not to take it personally??? I think I'll pass thanks!

So, hopefully I get some calls back, as I'm kind of desperate right now for anything-EXCEPT for Tim Hortons...haha...that's where I draw the line!

Anyways...hope everyone has a great night!

Love, Ash

6.17.2007

If you have a Dream...

Someone sent this to me the other day, and it was sent at the exact moment that I needed to hear it:

Don't wait for some distant day to come,it may be too late before you've even begun.Not everyone will agree with all you decide.

Be true to yourself first and foremost.The only important thing in life is what you dowith the time you spend here on earth.

Don't be afraid to follow your desires,they are not silly nor selfish.Take the time and do what makes you feel alive.

Leave your fears and regrets in the past,for this is where they belong.Don't cloud today with things that can't be undone.

You have no more control over yesterday or tomorrow,than you do the raging of your passions.Do not quiet these dreams nor quench your desires.

For if you do, your journey is ended.You have only today to begin anew and follow your dreams.For in the end all we have are our memories.

When the twilight comes to us, let there be,

No excuses, no explanations, no regrets!
~Author Unknown~

Sometimes I feel that I have made the biggest mistakes in life, but I have to learn to let go, to forgive myself, to move on. I constantly have to tell myself that I have learned from the mistakes I have done wrong. I grow from those, become a better person because of it. I know what I will NOT do in the future.

Why is it so hard to forgive YOURSELF???

It's so easy to say, "I forgive you" to everyone else, but we beat ourselves up over the things we have done. We never learn to say those three words to ourselves. Even God says he forgives and forgets. He moves on. He wants us to live for the here and now, not constantly think about the past and our regrets.

I'm finding this very difficult to do. Until I can finally forgive myself, only then will I be able to truly love others, to open my heart and live with abandon. My regrets are holding me back from doing the things I need to do in life, from being exuberantly happy.

My cautious and anxiety driven lifestyle keeps me from doing the things I want to do the most. Of course I have to be careful about the things I do, but I can't let my worries, fears, regrets, and guilt weigh me down.

I have freedom in Christ! He has saved me from my sins, from my regrets and mistakes!! He died for me when I didn't even deserve it, yet I still can't figure out a way to let go.

Humanity is such a complicated thing. Sometimes I feel my humanity to the point where I am overcome with so much shame and guilt. Those are the times when I know that God is saying, "Come here, Ashleigh. Rest in me. Lay all your burdens on me. I can carry them for you. You don't have to do it all on your own. Tell me your troubles. Confide in me. Let me help you. "

It's His way of saying, "relax...slow down...delight in me and my words that you will read in your Bible. Know that you are forgiven. I have given you grace even when you don't deserve it, because I love you."

God's grace abounds, and He offers it freely. I have come to understand it in a totally new way this past year. In a way that makes me grateful every time we sing about it in church, or I read about it in my Bible.

Thank you, God, for forgiveness and grace!! Help me now to forgive myself and live free of regret!
I love you, Father!

Love, Ash

6.09.2007

oh...I love PORTUGUESE!

ok, so my day didn't start out the greatest...I think I was a little cranky because I got too much sleep.
AND I had an escalation with one of my calls, so that made me feel much worse. BUT...

about 15 minutes before work was up, I got a call from a dealer at Radio shack who had PERFECT English, and then I heard him speaking in a different language to a customer in the background. I thought it was Spanish because that is usually the language I hear from other customers. Then I realized that I understand what he was saying, and it was PORTUGUESE!!! My heart, you would not believe it, started being like over a mile a minute, I was SO crazy excited!

I waited until he finished talking to the customer, and then I said to him, "Voce fala portugues?" "you speak Portuguese?" and then he responded in Portuguese "yes". ... and then it took off from there! He asked me if I would prefer talking in English or Portuguese, and I definitely chose Portuguese! man, it was AWESOME! and my heart started beating even faster, and then I was just on cloud nine.

Wow, sometimes I am overwhelmed by the emotion that I feel just by speaking and understanding Portuguese. It's like I practically float, and my heart goes into overdrive!

As it turns out, he was also from Goias, the state that Joyce's mission is in! No wonder I understood him, because he spoke exactly the same way that I learned! He was so nice, and he definitely made my day!

When I hung up, one of the guys sitting beside me said jokingly, "you're not allowed to speak another language on the floor!" I said, "why not?" and he said, "because I don't understand you!" lol...it was great.

Then after work me and 3 of the other girls that were in my training class went out to Boston Pizza for dinner, and since it's the last day of our training class, we all won't be together again! So we took some pictures, and it was fun.

All in all my day was so-so, but talking portuguese definitely was the highlight!

HOpe ya'll have a wonderful week-end...love you guys!
love, Ash