Broken Promises...

A recent situation brought to my attention how easy it is for us to make promises to people, only later to break them. I didn't realize how often I do that, how many times I tell people I will do something, I will visit them, I will call them, I will pray for them- and yet I don't. I am sorry to any of you I have ever made a promise that I didn't follow through on, that I didn't actually do.

How blessed we are to serve a loving God who always does what He promises, and who will never let us down! Praise Him!

Love,

Ashleigh

I wanna sock hop...

I want to write. But don't know what to say.

I just feel like putting down random words, in hopes that they will begin to make sense. In any case, is this even considered writing? I am staring at a computer screen, clacking away on the keyboard. Technically, I am simply typing, rather than writing. Do you ever wonder if more creativity comes out when you write on a pad of paper, with a pen filled with ink?

This morning in church, my mom said God gave her a vision of everyone in the world praising him at their worship services. She said it was like she was sitting with God above the earth, watching their songs, music, hearts, and attitudes swirling up to him like a sweet aroma. She said it was such a tremor of sound, and so beautiful. I think I can somewhat understand how that would sound, particularly when I am listening to beautiful music, so full and rich in its reverberation. When I listen in headphones, it feels like the sound is within me, and I am a part of it. Why does there seem to be such a connection between people and the music they listen to? We have a fixation with it, and such a love (almost to the point of idolization) of music. However, there is something to be said about how notes can be arranged to such an extent that they move someone emotionally.

As I listen to a soothing version of Silent Night, I bid you a wonderful evening, urging you to send up your worship and praise as a sweet aroma to our God.

Love,

Ashleigh

Bite in, Chill out...

Stress and worry do nothing but create ulcers.

Ulcer: a sore on the skin or a mucous membrane, accompanied by the disintegration of tissue, the formation of pus, etc.

-dictionary.com

I don't want an ulcer. I can simply rely on the Lord, and lean on him to deal with my problems. Because He will. Just not in the time my selfish human heart wants them to be dealt with.

I am going home this weekend, which will either calm me down or cause me to question my ability to live without losing my composure. Either way, I am excited. Because I love my fam and can't wait to see them again :)

Love always,

Ash

Six months and counting...

Tempus fugit, and yet it seems to go by so slowly at the same time. That is how it feels looking back on the past six months of my relationship with Jake. Incredulous I stand, exuberance flooding my heart and spilling over at the ages. I am still in awe at how God brought us together, and how the impossible became hopeful and the confusion became exceedingly clear. If you had told me in January that I would have been dating Jake by November and oh-so-in-love, I would have called your bluff. Since dating him I have been sad, frustrated, confused, and yet have laughed, kissed, hugged, loved, cuddled, and cried tears of happy joy. I have been encouragingly challenged and emotional, while also having been shown so much love and unhesitatingly forgiven. Being in a relationship with someone is like revealing your inner core, the real you, or like having a doctor lay you out on a surgical table under the bright light and rip you open. When someone is so close to you, they can see that part of you that is ripped open and hanging out, the ugly insides, where the truth, inevitably, is exposed. It is scary and terrifying, and at times humiliating to the point of tears being vulnerable with Jake like that; and yet, I know how precious and important it is for us to be real with each other, and to see God's grace as He works in and through us. God has truly blessed us, and I know for a fact that it is ONLY because of Him that I am dating Jake today. He continues to mold and shape us as we seek him through his word individually, and as we encourage each another daily. I am so thankful for the godly woman that I desire to be for Jake, but I recognize that it will only come as I seek to be a godly woman for God first. He is the only one who can help me to live out my faith and who can show me where I need to change to continue to pursue holiness.

Our six month was actually yesterday, and we spent the whole day together celebrating this wonderful milestone in our relationship. It's no fifty years, that's for sure, but in this day and age, six months is an anomaly! We went to see Disney's A Christmas Carol in 3D (which was the first time he had seen a movie in 3D) and then we went out for food at this Greek restaurant we have been dying to try out for a long time. The food was excellent(we had pork souvlaki that was both delicious and largely proportioned), the price was right, and they even stayed open for us a bit longer, so we had the restaurant to ourselves! It was a delightful day that will never be forgotten.

I am both hopeful and expectant for whatever God has in store for us in the future, because He has given me such a peace for the present.

I love you, Jake!!! Thank you for asking me to be your girlfriend! You are such a wonderful gift and an amazing man, and I am proud to call you my boyfriend!

Love always,

Ash

Noticing Trends...

Once again I felt like falling asleep during history class this morning, and Jake and I finally figured out why. During the week, Wednesday's are the only days I have to get up an hour earlier so I can be at the school for 8:15 am. Every other day of the week I have to be there at 9AM. It seems silly that a simple hour can throw off my body so much. Even as I sit here typing this all I can think about is how much I want to be sleeping right now.

It doesn't help that my mind decided to have a mental marathon during my dreams between 5 and 7:30 this morning. They were probably the most intense and emotionally taxing dreams I have had in a while. There were three of them, and they sort of melded into one, and although I do not care to go into detail here, I found them to be quite sobering; most definitely some things that I need to pray about further.

Just want to thank you again, Nana, for faithfully posting comments on my blog :) I know a few people that read them regularly, and it's nice to have visual recognition of that. I could probably name all the people who I know read my blog, and because of that I can safely say I love you all!

Have a great day... and enjoy the sun and the beautiful fall November day, without snow, because I know I am, especially in the comfort of my sleep.

Love,

Ashleigh

Recital and Obssessions...

Tonight was my bellydance recital. My first one ever. And it was everything I had hoped for and more! I got to perform for the first time in public as well as watch live bellydance acts. I was nervous before I started dancing, but as soon as I started dancing I had no qualms whatsoever. I was just so excited to be dancing finally! At the end, a bunch of the bellydancers got back on stage and danced improv, with someone in the front leading! It was hard for me to do what they were doing because I am not that good yet, but I hope to be someday! My goodness, it is a lot to aspire to. I think it is such a beautiful dance form, and bellydancers are so talented! After long years of wanting to learn bellydance, my dreams came true and God gave me this opportunity. It makes me so happy! Sometimes I feel like I am obssessed with it, and could spend hours watching videos and studying the way the dancers move. But I don't want to think about bellydancing more than God; there needs to be some balance in this!

Love,

Ashleigh

Visitors...

Today Katie is coming, in fact, she will be here in about a half an hour. I am soooo excited! I haven't seen her since about june or july. Either month has long come and gone. Also, this will be the first time she has seen my house, in person , that is. I gave her a virtual tour on Skype one time!

Last night my roommate did my make-up, as a suggestion of what I should do for my bellydance recital tomorrow. I may not do exactly this, but I like how dramatic it looks.

And this is my roommate and I:

We had so much fun doing this, and I am glad when I can have spontaneous bonding moments with my roommates! We were sad that Mandy couldn't have been here too, then it would have truly been everyone bonding!

I hope everyone is doing well. I must go and clean my room now!!!

Take care..

Ashleigh

Here you are down on your knees again...

I am listening to the new Flyleaf song, "Again" which is an amazing tune full of passion and intentionality. Here are the lyrics:

I love the way that your heart breaks
with every injustice and deadly fate
Praying it all be new
and living like it all depends on you

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

I love that you’re never satisfied
with face value wisdom and happy lies
you take what they say and go back and cry
you’re so close to me that you nearly died

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Only surrender will help you now
I love you please see and believe again

they don’t have to understand you
be still
wait and know I understand you
be still
be still

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Only surrender will help you now
The floodgates are breaking
and pouring out

Here you are down on your knees
trying to find air to breathe
right where I want you to be again
i love you please see and believe again

Here you are down on your knees again
trying to find air to breathe again
Right where I want you to be again
See and believe!

This is probably the 10th to 15th time I have listened to the song since last night. I love the reminder it gives me of how much we need God. When we feel like we are floundering beneath the intricacies, uncertainties, and pressures of life, all we can do is go to God for help, and cry out to Him, surrendering all to Him. I praise God for this reminder, because I so often forget that He is right there, waiting to listen to me and help me.

I am going to my last bellydance class tonight. It has been a wonderful 8 weeks, and I cannot wait to take the next session!

I helped out at an drop-in center this afternoon, and I could not believe all the girls in Gr. 6, who are only 11 years old, talking about their "boyfriends". I know it can be so innocent, but it breaks my heart to think about how little innocence they are exposed to in their every day lives. All I can do is pray that I can be a godly influence in the mere hour I spend with them each week.

Love,

Ashleigh

It's been too long...

It was about three weeks ago that I decided to expend my fury upon my laptop bag as I tried stuffing it into my half locker at the school. Even when it came crashing down on top of my foot, I did not find out until much later that I had broken the hard drive in my computer. I am grateful have connections and friends who fix computers, and one of my friends was so gracious in fixing my own. Praise the Lord!

I have obviously not written a blog in a long time. It has been too long, people. Much too long.

Jake and I broadened our culinary skill once again tonight, as we made scalloped potatoes. It was an adventure laden with chopping and mincing skills, stirring and pouring skills, and waiting and chatting skills. I forgot how much I love cooking with him.

As we ate a romantic dinner by candlelight at the dining room table which we rarely use, we caught up on some things that had been bothering us, and simply enjoyed being together. I love spending time with him immensely.

He brought me flowers, beautiful purple carnations! I had never seen purple carnations before this occasion, and will take pictures of them. I adore flowers, and I love how he can give me flowers "Just Because". He is one of a kind, and I adore him!

I found this website entitled "Win free stuff" and I want to see if I can win a free iPod Touch, so I must post this website: ( i posted it below)

It has some good information about organ donations, and I find it interesting. You should check it out!

Anyways, have a good night!

Love,

Ash

http://www.recycleme.org/refer/c5d90dc3